On the topic of the voiced grievances that have been confided in (and shared by) a number of people in my close personal circle, this shall stand as my public notice should any legal proceedings occur in the future. Also, this shall stand on behalf of others that have been bothered and disturbed by this or a similar situation. I will only use this inconvenience’s username, so as those who know the situation will know who I’m talking about, and those who don’t will still have a good story to read.
For many months now, I have been badgered and harassed by one “RyanTee82″ of Corvallis, Oregon. This started as a simple correspondence via Twitter.com, on which he started “following” my profile under the username RyanTee82. He would respond to my posts, and an occasional correspondence would come about, all in a friendly atmosphere. Given that he was local, and that he knew a few people I did, I felt safe and secure that he was trustworthy, as my countless other contacts always had been.
Soon, however, he started inappropriately contacting me via other social networking sites, such as Facebook.com and Formspring.me. Particularly on Formspring, a site where users ask each other questions, he would constantly ask about my personal life, mostly regarding my boyfriend, Austin, and our sexual relationship. I often would tell him off, thinking he would get the notion that I was not about to disclose any information that was not his or anyone’s business.
After many instances of my skirting the subjects of his questions and comments, and his pressuring me, it became confrontational. He would often accuse me of “not being real”, suggesting that my online life is the same as my personal life, and that if I’m “real” in my private life, so I should be publicly. I would consistently disagree, stating that my online and personal lives are very different. I project certain aspects of myself honestly and openly, through my thoughts, comments, and posts, but they should not be an indication of my true character, nor my status as a human being. I questioned his motives, and he would elude some sort of friendship between us, to the point where I became uncomfortable, as uncomfortable as an unwelcome advance or suggestive connotation. He would even go so far as skirt around me, contacting Austin with similar questions, as if he was involved. His contact would be anonymous on Formspring. Tweets, posts, and chats from him on Twitter and Facebook would not be.
Upon learning of suspicious behavior on his behalf from other trusted friends, as well as simply having grown increasingly weary and angered by his ignorance, persistence, and delusion, I began blocking him from all social networking sites on which we had contact. Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etc. Contact ceased, and I was satisfied. However, Formspring allows for anonymous questions to be asked by anyone, and questions very similar in style and nature appeared in my inbox not long ago. The identity was disclosed, only to be RyanTee82. I quickly disregarded the question, answering with two quotes. “It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.” and “Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the former.” I subsequently blocked him from Formspring.
A few days later, I noticed a curious spike in my views on WordPress.com, centered around one day. I investigated, and found that all the views came from a single search for my personal email address, which connected to my blog. Numerous clicks were made to my other networks, including the stream of my Twitter updates which are posted on WordPress, as well as other social networks that I rarely use. There were no clicks to the usual clicks I get, to my MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter accounts; they were all to sites that I rarely use and haven’t blocked RyanTee82 from, based on never having contact with him through those accounts. I can only assume it was RyanTee82, in an attempt to peer into my life.
Given this long stream of inconvenience and disruption, as well as these recent developments, I fear I have two choices. One: to make my open dialogues online closed off, something I would not like to do given my morals and character, yet fear I must do to protect myself and those I love from further “creepers” such as RyanTee82. Two: Keep the open dialogue with the countless others who have not interfered, have not abused, and have not tormented. I choose that latter, and my final statement on the subject follows.
NOTICE TO RYANTEE82 (and any others who think they can screw with me and get away with it): Any further attempts to contact me in any way, or to involve yourself in my life or with the people I keep close to me, shall be swiftly followed by either my consultation with a lawyer, or with a restraining order, or both. Do not contact me, my friends, my boyfriend Austin, or anyone remotely related to me in any way. Do not access my profiles, do not email me, do not contact any of my friends in an attempt to find out where I am, what I’m doing, or what I have to say. If you have any bookmarks, contact list or address book entries,, or the like mentioning my name or any form of communication with me, I suggest you delete them all immediately. It is unfair that I have to adjust the way I communicate with hundreds of respectful, intelligent, meaningful people through various venues as a result of one bad egg that had to ruin it for me.
January 15, 2011 at 10:24 PM
Hey Zach,
I might suggest taking the actual name out from this post. I do understand that you are upset and with every right. But after reading it it would appear aggressive and as though you are attacking him rather than warning others. I would suggest leaving in all info about online user names he is affiliated with etc but not his full name. That’s simply for the fact that I am going through something with someone as well who is using my name online (you know the story) and your story is actually VALID. Great post though because I know what you are going through and I have gone though the same thing with him. I had shared some stupid joking story with him a few years ago because I knew how weird and into my sex life he was. He had always expressed interest. This was during a time that I had no clue who he was, just a screen name of another local (and like you Zach, I thought “why not get to know the local”), Anyways he used to drive me CRAZY with his “so hows your sex life” questions and so one day I was in a mood and I (in reply) told him “Great actually, I just fucked a complete stranger in the woods on the Butte” I made it known that it was a joke … and then he went around sharing that story with strangers as though promoting me “Yeah Sean fucks in the woods” … I was LIVID !. I don’t want to seem like I am joining in on some anti – Ry campaign here but I know what you are going through Zach and Austin. He’s probably reading this now.
January 15, 2011 at 10:45 PM
A valid point. The only reason, apart from being a conniving little bastard, was in the case of any legal proceedings that might take place. This would ensure that I not only told him off personally, but also made a public statement to the same effect. I can still change it though. Very good point, as angry as I can be (deservedly), tact is important as well.